Politics Explained...In Cow Terms

SOCIALISM: You have two cows.
The state takes one and gives it to someone else.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows.
The State takes both of them and gives you the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows.
The State takes both of them and sells you the milk.

MILITARY DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows.
The State takes both of them and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows.
The state takes both of them, accidentally kills one and spills the milk in the sewer.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows.
Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

ANARCHY: You have two cows.
Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors kill you and take the cows.